[Selfish Shallow and Self Absorbed Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids Books ] Free Download as Ebook By Meghan Daum


10 thoughts on “Selfish Shallow and Self Absorbed Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids

  1. says:

    I received a digital ARC of this title from NetgalleyI will never have children I made up my mind on this years ago and now as I near 30 I have no inclination to change my mind If I have a 'biological clock' it's assuredly broken What else could explain the crawling horror I feel at the prospect of pregnancy? Nope no babies for this girl M

  2. says:

    So here's the deal I read the first four? five? essays and just had to call it uits Turns out that I'm just not interested in why people don't

  3. says:

    I was slightly disappointed that most of the women in the book had actually courted or coveted motherhood for a time and missed the window than made an active choice ironically I most identified with a male writer's essay because he has always firmly known he didn't want children one of only a couple in the book But still I found th

  4. says:

    I've known since I was a kid that I didn't want to be a mother I have a distinct memory of being 7 or 8 and joining my own mom and her aunts and cousins on a Memorial Day trip to decorate family graves In the cemetery I remember comi

  5. says:

    I'm uite disappointed I had such high hopes The summary called to me the intro was stellar and had me nodding in agreement with the editor and then I started reading the essays I think that there were only 3 or 4 that spoke to me the rest were either uninteresting or thoroughly depressing I'm sorry but I don't

  6. says:

    I received this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest reviewI don't want childrenAt my age however this statement is usually met with the response of Oh but you're so young You'll change your mindThis is not only con

  7. says:

    Much has been written about women having it all and the difficulties for women with balancing work and child rearing Literature also abounds on the topic of infertility detailing stories of women who long to have children but are unable for various reasons However very little has been written about making a conscious well thought ou

  8. says:

    This hit the spot Almost I wanted to read the perspectives of writers who not only didn't have children but were thrilled with the decision to the point of being relieved that they trusted their intuition who like me are edified by their decision each passing year rather than being unnerved by it or the social judgment that accompanies it I found several of my own reasons for being persona non mama scattered

  9. says:

    Until about a year ago I always thought I would eventually have kids As I made my way through my twenties watching

  10. says:

    Overall I think this book's importance in our society cannot be expressed enough I'm so grateful to the author for giving t

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Read & Download ¹ eBook, ePUB or Kindle PDF ß Meghan Daum

Selfish Shallow and Self Absorbed Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids

Sixteen Literary Luminaries On The Controversial Subject Of Being Childless By Choice Collected In One Fascinating AnthologyOne of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed fertility crisis and whether modern women could figure out a way to way to have it all a successful demanding career and the reuired 23 children before their biological clock stopped ticking Now however conversation has turned to whether it's. I received a digital ARC of this title from NetgalleyI will never have children I made up my mind on this years ago and now as I near 30 I have no inclination to change my mind If I have a biological clock it s assuredly broken What else could explain the crawling horror I feel at the prospect of pregnancy Nope no babies for this girl My niece is expecting a baby in a few months and I m excited But and this is key I m excited because I m not the one having it I m looking forward to playing Aunty reading books and going to museums and imparting subversive feminist wisdom to my niece s daughter But I ll get to send her back to mommy when she won t uit crying or I need a nap Call me immature I suppose I am I love my family breathlessly but I also love sleep and time to read books I don t want to test my lack of self sacrifice on a child That would be unfair So all of this is to say this book was written for me I completely understand where these writers are coming from even if some of them phrase it in terms I find objectionable What I do find fascinatingfrustrating is how this conversation always falls on women Women are just assumed to want babies If we don t we must have had terrible childhoods or be otherwise defective For the record my childhood was aggressively normal and very loving I was never abused I am clinically depressed and while that does figure into the calculus not to breed it s not the only reason This all goes back to the insidious notion that women are for babies We are supposed to subsume ourselves into our children and if we don t we re selfish hags Well then I ll be a selfish hag I belong to me not some future hypothetical creature that I have to create out of my own fleshSo that this doesn t become a polemic I ll stop here I recommend this book if anyone has ever made you feel bad for not wanting to have children Know your own mind people Be who you want to be not who you think you should be

Summary Selfish Shallow and Self Absorbed Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids

Necessary to have it all or perhaps controversial whether children are really a reuirement for a fulfilling life The idea that some women and men prefer not to have children is often met with sharp criticism and incredulity by the public and mainstream mediaIn this provocative and controversial collection of essays curated by writer Meghan Daum sixteen acclaimed writers explain why they have chosen to eschew parenthood Contributors Lionel Shriver Sigr. I m uite disappointed I had such high hopes The summary called to me the intro was stellar and had me nodding in agreement with the editor and then I started reading the essays I think that there were only 3 or 4 that spoke to me the rest were either uninteresting or thoroughly depressing I m sorry but I don t think that finding yourself in middle age unmarried without children and coming to terms with that is the same as deciding to not have children I cannot relate to women that are relieved to have miscarriages and feel as though they dodged a bullet Yes I suppose that perhaps does make them selfish shallow and self absorbed writers though but an active decision it does not make My heart breaks for the writers with the gut wrenching childhoods and I understand their choice But where are the essays from the young happily coupled up or not successful women that decide to not reproduce and have to deal with being regarded as a heretic or gasp a career woman And apparently there are only so many excuses to be childless since these 16 essays seemed to spout off about the same 5 issues surrounding child rearing

Read & Download ¹ eBook, ePUB or Kindle PDF ß Meghan Daum

Id Nunez Kate Christiensen Elliott Holt Geoff Dyer and Tim Kreider among others offer a uniue perspective on the overwhelming cultural pressure of parenthood Selfish Shallow and Self Absorbed makes a thoughtful and passionate case for why parenthood is not the only path in life taking our parent centric kid fixated baby bump patrolling culture to task in the process What emerges is a nuanced diverse view of what it means to live a full satisfying life. This hit the spot Almost I wanted to read the perspectives of writers who not only didn t have children but were thrilled with the decision to the point of being relieved that they trusted their intuition who like me are edified by their decision each passing year rather than being unnerved by it or the social judgment that accompanies it I found several of my own reasons for being persona non mama scattered throughout but the BEST and most identifiable for me was the final essay written by a man Tim Kreider s The End of the Line Yet despite claims of diversity by Daum it lacked that big time I m always guarded by a mainstreamer s view of diversity which tends to translate into less than ALL being the same or five kinds of ethnicity from the same region of one continent Of the 16 essays one was offensively privileged Be Here Now Means Be Gone Later by Lionel Shriver and one was justnarrow minded to the point of being disgusting You d be Such a Good Mother If Only You Weren t You by MG Lord I mean this broad talked about which people deserved her attention get the fuck outta here Others were a study in the conventional Most went out of their way to explain that they loved children or were involved with them in some other capacity Why There was still an underlying air of defensiveness that was disappointing but I suppose just speaks to the larger need for collections of this kind In any event it was pretty vanilla in terms of presented SES of the authors and I beg the uestion of what s the point of diversity if there s an effort to deny how that impacts the decision to have a child Still it s a start and overall well written while also being refreshingly honest on everything from abortions to relationships to being able to love a friend s child while having ZERO envy for the life they live in raising said child I was also buoyed by folks admitting how many people have kids just to avoid regretting not doing it only to realize that no life is regret free I d re read most of these and they did inspire me to write my own essay on the topic purely for self edification and seeing how many of the authors ideas intersect in my own life while knowing that certain concerns were never voiced by this group I mean it is only 16 essays and what it means to be an insert blank woman within segregated communities who opts not to have children and the reaction from a particular culture that is insulated and isolated from the larger mainstream world of most of these authors is another matter But I m free to write that journey Daum doesn t need to find someone to do it for me though that would be diverse So three stars for several reasons but I enjoyed each one of those stars And I so love a Kreider uote of what much of opting to honor feeling complete without reproducing means to me that I ll end with it Admittedly calling not having children the ultimate act of free will may be a little grandiose People on both sides of the reproductive divide tend to be self congratulatory about choices that are let s be honest completely beyond their conscious control like people who ve inherited wealth thinking they deserve it Parents need to somehow justify the lives of sputum tuition and sarcastic abuse to which they ve condemned themselves and so make their own grandiose claims about parenthood s ineffable fulfillments and beneficent effects that one cannot possibly know what real love is unless you ve had children that it is life s ultimate purpose et cetera Reproduction as raison d etre has always seemed to me to beg the whole uestion of existence If the ultimate purpose of your life is your children what s the purpose of your children s lives To have your grandchildren Isn t anyone s life ultimately meaningful in itself If not what s the point of propagating it ad infinitum For me and many in this volume there is no point

  • Hardcover
  • 288
  • Selfish Shallow and Self Absorbed Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids
  • Meghan Daum
  • English
  • 05 October 2018
  • 9781250052933

About the Author: Meghan Daum

Meghan Daum is the author of Life Would Be Perfect If I Lived In That House a personal chronicle of real estate addiction and obsessive fascination with houses as well as the novel The uality of Life Report and the essay collection My Misspent Youth Since 2005 she has written a weekly column for The Los Angeles Times which appears on the op ed page every Thursday She has contributed to publi